Stop snapping at people online or off

Do you contribute to blogs (rather than just reading them?) or forums? Do post or respond to the posts of others? I do occassionally and am trying to build more of a presence online in my business.

Last week I posted a question on 2 large boards that each have several forums. I posted my question on most of the forums because I wanted to get as many responses as possible. I was as honest as I could be and told readers I was doing research for a writing project.

Many of the handful of people who responded on one board were very nice and gave me full, well thought out answers which I thanked them for.  The other board generated a couple of responses but they were snippy and sarcastic. I resisted the temptation to respond with the same snippiness and tried to further explain my question and why I was posting on the site. More snippiness.

I'm not sure I understand this behavior. Why would you respond if you don't want to genuinely answer the question? If you think the question is stupid then just don't respond to it.

I suppose there's an element of being hidden that makes people feel comfortable acting out online.

I know that when I was in my early 20's I had a tendency to say the first thing that popped into my head.  I would make some smart-mouthed comment or rather than just give the answer to a question I'd been asked I'd include all of this "editorial" content that really wasn't necessary.

I'm still not sure why I did it but it took a manager I had to point this out and help me see how it was hurting my image as a professional. He helped me see that my comments weren't helpful and weren't in line with the reputation I wanted to create.

It hurt to hear that but after I reflected on what he said I realized how right he was. I practiced two techniques I remembered from growing up and they helped me a lot. I still use them.

First was taught to me by my mother. She always said "You can think whatever you want but don't say it."  Next was a technique my public speaking professor taught us to use at various times in a speech. This was particularly helpful when trying to get rid of uh's and um's. He said just close your mouth and say it in your head. It actually worked for me and I could deliver an entire speech with no uh's.

So think about how you're responding to your coworkers and how you're responding to strangers and acquaintances online.  As the old saying goes, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Comments

[Wiinnie]

Jorge-
Sorry to be just getting back to you. Thanks for your comments. Yes, I agree with you that it seems the loudest people are the most negative. I'm not sure why that is...maybe nice people are more respectful and therefor more reserved? I like to think that people of faith tend to speak more with their actions rather than their words : - )

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. I hope you stop back again and share this site with your friends...the nice ones anyway : - )
Winnie

[Jorge]

Winifred,

I was taught these same things and they have been helpful.

There is the should be world and the real world. In the real world unfortunately the most ignorant and blatantly stupid tend to be the louder crowd.

I was doing research myself for a marketing piece and kept coming across this guy writing reviews for other reviews saying things like.... "Oh look another sock puppet, isn't this a coincidence you support this product and this is your only review?".

Well it's sad that we have to filter out through so much noise online, but it's worth it when you come across a good blog like this one...

thanks for sharing,

Jorge